The Book in 3 Sentences
The key to a good life is not giving a fuck about more; it’s giving a fuck about only what is true and immediate and important.
Struggle is what gives our life meaning, without struggle we have no reason to exist, contrary to the typical self-help advice.
Happiness comes from solving problems, so the question should be ‘what problems/pain do I want?’
Key Points/Takeaways
Pain is good and happiness is a problem
Happiness comes from solving problems
Pain makes problems which we must solve, when we solve problems we become happy.
What pain do you want?
Victim mentality: victims blame others for their problems or blame outside circumstances. This makes them feel better in the short term but leads to a life full of anger, depression and helplessness.
It is impossible to live life perfectly happy, with idyllic happiness.
The feedback loop from hell
Anxious about being anxious
Being angry makes you a mean and shallow person, and you hate it; you hate it so much that you get angry at yourself. Now you’re angry at yourself getting angry about being angry.
You’re so worried about doing the right thing all the time that you become worried about how much you’re worrying.
Love the process, not the final result
If you focus on the end product you have a sense of expectation and when you complete the task and don’t feel as you imagined you would have felt feel depressed, sad, anxious etc.
Instead enjoy the process and you will be fulfilled
Explored more in So Good They Can’t Ignore You- Cal Newport
Problems are inevitable
Everybody has problems, some are just worse than others
For example, Warren Buffet has financial problems, but so does a homeless man
Therefore, what problems do you want?
You must give a fuck about something
Even if you don’t give a fuck about anything the you still give a fuck about not giving a fuck
Not giving a fuck does not mean being indifferent; it means being comfortable with being different.
You’re wrong about everything
You’re never right you’re just less wrong
Instead of striving for certainty we should be in constant search of doubt
How The Book Changed Me?
The book slightly change my opinion with its content and key points but it more made me realise how much waffle exists, this isn’t me saying the book is waffle but there is so many books and studies and videos about self-help and how to live the perfect life. But in reality, ‘just do it’, go out and do the work and what needs to be done. Stop trying to figure out if its better to drink coffee before you do your morning yoga and wether it should be in a room of 13.5 degree room or a 20 degree room. Just do it.
Top 3 Quotes
"The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience and paradoxically the acceptance of ones negatives experience is itself a positive experience."
"Our crisis is no longer material; it’s existential, it’s spiritual. We have so much fucking stuff and so many opportunities that we don’t even know what to give a fuck about anymore."
"It has become an accepted part of our culture today to believe that we are all destined to do something truly extraordinary… Each and every one of us can be extraordinary. We all deserve greatness. The fact that this statement is inherently contradictory—after all, if everyone were extraordinary, then by definition no one would be extraordinary—is missed by most people"
Who Should Read It?
People who like a more philosophical viewpoint.